In the winter of my senior year in high school, Dr. Martínez diagnosed me with juvenile diabetes. Since Christmas, for about three weeks, I had been feeling tired all the time. As I waited for the beginning of the second semester, I spent hours sleeping during the day, only to wake up tired anyway. I felt endlessly hungry. I couldn't understand why I was so tired, because I wasn't doing additional activities. To the contrary, I slept because I felt exhausted.

Nevertheless, I didn't register how unusual this pattern was. Neither did my family. Finally, I got a urinary track infection that my mother's mix of vinegar diluted on water would not cure. I went to the doctor seeking relief. The infection turned out to be the result of having very high sugar levels in my blood. High sugar in my blood, I learned, results in sugary urine. As the kidneys try to clean up the blood by getting rid of the excess sugar, the sugar in the urine lowers its pH, which makes it nice and cozy for bacteria.

In any case, my being just one semester away from college in the U.S. is relevant because my father even considered my not going off to study in Cambridge, Massachusetts, in the coming fall because of the diabetes. More immediately, he wanted me to cancel a weekend trip to the beach because of the diabetes. "What about the insulin", he asked "who would put it on me?" The threat proved to be a powerful incentive to learn how to give myself insulin shots. Yes, I went off to the beach that weekend. However, that initial victory proved to be somewhat deceitful, it was very short-lived. I was forced to make two decisions without hesitating: I was not going to dwell over why I had diabetes and I was going to learn how to live with it, immediately.

Diabetes isn't like a math problem, an essay question, or a family crisis, all of which can last only so long. It isn't a puzzle to be solved, something that you think over and then act on accordingly. Diabetes is a condition which I would have to deal with it as a premise of life. I would have to learn to fully accept that this was true in my life and not true in the lives of most of the other people with whom I shared regularly. From there, bring a little courage into many decisions and action in my life everyday, every single day.

Dr. Martínez was used to dealing with diabetic adults, while I was about to turn eighteen. He was not the best choice for me my family and I realized this a few months later.. As an adolescent with this condition, I needed very close attention. Not uncommon for this time of life, my daily routine was constant change. I needed to learn to be disciplined and strive for some regularity in my activities from day to day. He was not sensitive to any of this. By the time I entered college, I had a new doctor that was aware of these issues. Since then I have been learning to reject invites to more food; especially sugary foods, eliminate red meat from my diet and progressively decrease fat intake, and to eat more vegetables. I also changed my views on exercise and learned the concept of gym class not as a women-focused torture but as an activity that keeps me fit, healthy and alive.

Learning to do what I have to do in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle is a process that truly has not ended for me. Learning to reject invites to more food, eliminate red meat, etc. is not my exact life at this moment, but it is my ideal lifestyle. Since January of 1991, I have had to do a lot of thinking and self-training to move my life closer to that ideal lifestyle. In those first few weeks of life as a diabetic, it was clear and simple for me: I could not fight the fact that I was diabetic and I had to live accordingly. Later, it became more complicated. I had to learn to live not having desserts, not eating as much as I was used to, and not being able to join people in the sharing of food (such a fundamental cultural expression of love for us, Latinos). It became harder to keep myself aware that my eating habits would have an effect on my health. Right now, at 25, I have to constantly remind myself that I want to have a high quality of life for life, for however long it turns out to be-something that I think most people start really considering at 50.

So, now, when I feel myself faltering in my determination to be healthy, I remind myself that I plan to live to be 100. My contribution is going to be big and important. It's going to take 75 more years and I take my contribution seriously, so I must continue to live a healthy lifestyle.

Anonymous

Washington, DC